As 2024 comes to an end, people look back to evaluate their lives and consider what they can do in 2025 to achieve a more fulfilling life. As you do this, you may notice a puzzle: why is it that you have some wonderful things in your life – perhaps a fulfilling career, a loving family, a cozy home – but these things seem to have only a constrained impact on your everyday happiness?
At the same time, not-so-good things can happen around us – cracks in a relationship, incivility on the internet, inefficiency in the workplace – and we often seem to get used to these afflictions, so we are less likely to try to change them.
In other words, we stop noticing what has always been there. Here’s how you can change it.
Recognize habit
Habit is a basic feature of our brain – the tendency to react less and less to things that are constant or repeated.
Imagine you enter a cafe. At first, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee is distinct, but after about 20 minutes it is no longer felt. Your olfactory neurons stop responding – they get used to it. And just as you get used to the smell of coffee, you can also get used to the more intricate aspects of your life.
The challenge, then, is to regain sensitivity, both to the great things in life that we can feel joy in, and to those terrible things that we have stopped noticing that we could potentially change if we tried. So how to do it disaccustom?
Break the good
The answer lies in a wonderful quote from economist Tibor Scitovsky: “Pleasure results from the partial and sporadic satisfaction of desires.”
Think about a song you like – would you enjoy it more if you listened to it continuously from start to finish or with brief breaks? Ninety-nine percent of people say no to breaks. However, tests shows that people like a song more when they listen to it intermittently. Why? If you listen to a song non-stop, the initial joy it brings diminishes over time. However, the breaks are disheartening, so each time the song returns, the enjoyment level increases.
To combat habit and maximize pleasure, we need to consume a little of the good things in life. Whether it’s a Netflix show, chocolate cake, or a fresh romance, savor it instead of bingeing.
Swallow the bad whole
On the other hand, if you have to do an unpleasant task – housework, administrative work – do it in one go. Tests shows that people suffer less if they have to constantly listen to unpleasant noise (e.g. the sound of a vacuum cleaner) than if they take breaks. If you experience noise constantly, the “pain” it causes initially decreases over time. Interruptions, however, cause disengagement, so each time the noise returns, the level of distress increases again.
Experiments in life
What about aspects of your life that you suspect may be causing you stress and anxiety, but you can’t really tell how much they’re affecting you because they’re always there so you don’t try to change them? They appear in the background like constant AC noise – you don’t realize how negative the noise is until someone turns it off and suddenly you feel much better.
Consider social media: is it having a negative impact on you? In one testresearchers paid half of the participants $100 to leave the social media platform for a month, while the other half lived their lives as normal. At the end of the experiment, the cohort that quit smoking was happier and less stressed. The most vital thing is that they were surprised. They didn’t realize what a negative impact the platform had on them.
In 2025, experiment in life. Eliminate some elements from your daily routine for a while, one by one, and add other, fresh ones. Measure and evaluate the impact on your life so that you can maintain those qualities that bring you happiness and purpose and eliminate those that do not.